‘Excuse me. Dr. Gordon, excuse me,’ he waved while walking closer to the stage where the Great Gordon was just about to take his leave behind the curtain. ‘I’m sorry to bother you but—’ ‘Yes?’ Once Dr. Gordon realized that they weren’t acquainted, the good doctor looked at him with curiosity. ‘Would you like an autograph? Is that it? Autographed photos of me are available in the lobby for ten dollars. My book, Hypnotize Anyone Anytime is on sale there to for $30. My DVD, You’re Getting Sleepy, is $20. Here’s my card,’ he said reaching in his pocket to hand him his business card. ‘You can schedule me for a show by contacting my assistant at that number,’ he said as if he’s been approached by a thousand times by admirers and, no doubt, by the packed house, he had been routinely approached by admirers. ‘No thank you. I mean, yes, I’ll probably buy your book, Hypnotize Anyone Anytime, but the woman sitting in back is hypnotized,’ he said pointing to the woman sitting alone and staring. I allowed her to fall out of love with me and suddenly my dream of a huge family time went down the crapper.After our first real Christmas together as a family and then my birthday, New Years was shaping up to be a big party. My three wives and our thirteen kids (six on the deck, seven in the hanger) were planning a nice New Years Day, with food and sex and football and sex and games with the kids and sex and taking down the Christmas decorations and sex.I don’t think I mentioned it before, and if I did I am going to mention it again. I grew up in Northern Wisconsin. Very cold in the winter and very dry, as in no humidity. Our house was oil heated and one of my household jobs was to keep the various pots that we had spread around the house full of water so that we did not electrocute ourselves or the cats with blasts of static electricity.Yes, my brother and I were evil kids who took delight in rubbing our heavy wool socks on the carpet and then holding a finger out for the cat to.
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